It’s so lovely to speak to you again on your day of rest. Don’t worry if you’re still in bed, that’s what Sundays are for - a better morning for glory, there is none.

Now, I won’t mince (words, at least) so I’ll get straight to this week’s theme.

Dining Posture

Many people enjoy dining etiquette among many etiquette subjects. It has all of the gastronomic glamour, the intriguing intricacies, the worldwide culture of cuisines, and the dynamic nature of friends, colleagues, or lovers dining over some top nosh.

Yet… I see so many people letting themselves down with improper posture. In etiquette, we’d call this one’s deportment (the way a person stands, walks, and carries themself), something I touched upon this week.

*"Correct posture means the body is erect but relaxed. There should be tenseness in the body when it is carried properly." - John Robert Powers (1961)*

Dining Deportment 101

Unless you grew up with your shoulders forcibly retracted in one of those Victorian debutante contraptions (think of a corset with a backboard and buckles to ensure upright carriage) your poor dining posture will most likely be the fault of bad habit, and nothing more.

Here’s what you need to keep in mind.

Q: Can I use the armrests?

Armrests should generally be avoided unless the chairs are so small that you physically have nowhere else to put your arms. Still, never use them while holding cutlery to avoid shrugging one’s shoulders.

*The perfect model of a dining chair made for George IV by the English firm Tatham & Bailey circa 1813*

Q: Do I have to sit forwards?

I detest restaurants that seem to confuse a luxury dining experience with a DFS showroom (are they still having a sale?) with lounge chairs and sofas that force you to slump back spoiling one’s deportment. Whatever the chair, sit forward and avoid the urge to sit back.

You might like to put a cushion behind you for support, or ladies may prefer to place their handbags there instead. It is a slightly less preferable option than using a bag stool, however, it’s far smarter than plonking it on the floor or the table!

Being relaxed is good, but not so relaxed that you look uncaring, lazy, or tired. Sitting up and forward looks more engaging, something I tried to tell Gino D'Acampo once upon a time…

Q: How should my legs be positioned?

Unless you can maintain an upright position with your legs crossed, try to keep both feet flat on the floor. Crossed legs force us to lean back.

Q: What about my elbows and wrists?

Wrists: In British and American dining, wrists should stay on the lap between eating. In almost all other cultures, wrists on the table are acceptable.

Elbows: You should avoid placing elbows on any table at all times - dining or otherwise. If a relaxed dinner has concluded (and the host has also put their elbows on the table), then you may do so too.

*The Earl of Grantham resting his elbows on the table after dinner, smoking a cigar.*

Having said that, I am not expecting you to sit bolt upright at all times, for example, at home with family or with friends over an informal bite. Straighter isn’t universally better, you can take it from me.

I am asking, politely of course, that you simply make an effort to maintain your inner elegance when required in the company of others.

Yours in uprightness,

William Hanson

The Straighter, The Better