The Famous Finger Bowl Story Explained

Let me wish you a very good morning on this sublime Sunday.

What are you up today? Something luxuryI hope. Nevertheless, I trust you have a good coffee in hand after a good grind (pre-ground beans just won't cut it for proper coffee lovers) and are ready for this week's topic – finger bowls.

Why is the finger bowl so symbolic?

As an etiquette consultant of more than fifteen years, I've had the good fortune to coach many people from all ages and backgrounds, but what unites each lovely encounter is the reason there is etiquette in the first place – the need for good manners. 

'What is the difference between etiquette and good manners?', I'm often asked. 

Enter the famous finger bowl.

Charles III (then Prince of Wales) during an official dinner supposedly witnessed a visiting dignitary pick up his finger bowl to drink from thinking it was his water glass as was custom in their country. Others laughed while Charles, sharp-eyed as ever, noticed and picked up his finger bowl to drink too, to make his guest feel comfortable and at ease.

The moral of the story

Etiquette is the rules and traditions by which society lives not for their own sake, but to be as well-mannered as possible. This includes occasionally breaking the rules in order to do the right thing. 

The Princess of Wales breaking the no-clinking rule with President Cyril Ramaphosa of South Africa.

 Whence cometh the finger bowl?

Like much in etiquette, the history is a little blurry.

References to silver finger bowls allegedly date back to the 13th century, but only since the early 20th century do we learn more about them. 

Finger bowls are said to have evolved from 'winer-rinsers', an accoutrement designed to rinse wine from a glass in between the serving of various wines at a formal dinner. We cannot say with a modicum of certainty, however.

 How to place and use a finger bowl anywhere

If finger food is to be served, then set your finger bowl to the left above the forks. You may like to add a slice of lemon, but this is typical of restaurants and less seen in private households.

The water must not be hot as hot water opens the pores of the skin. Could you imagine something garlic-y seeping into your hands for the rest of the night? No thank you.

Will you be rushing to your nearest luxurydepartment store to buy a finger bowl for your next candlelight supper?

They're not essential, but they are nice to have especially for the right kind of dish.

Avoid fishy fingers whenever possible, I say.

Much love for the week ahead,

William Hanson